The Promise
The waiting room was painted a soft shade of blue, the kind meant to calm nerves. It wasn’t working. My leg bounced uncontrollably as I checked my watch for the fifth time in as many minutes. Beside me, Hannah squeezed my hand, her grip painfully tight.
“Daniel, relax,” she whispered. “You’re making me more anxious.”
I tried to smile, but it felt more like a grimace. “Sorry. It’s just… we’ve been waiting so long for this.”
Four years, to be exact. Four years of applications and interviews. Four years of home visits and background checks. Four years of disappointment and renewed hope.
And now, finally, we were here.
The door opened, and Ms. Rivera stepped out, her expression professionally neutral. She was in her fifties, with streaks of gray in her dark hair and eyes that had seen too much heartbreak. Behind her was a small boy holding tightly to her hand.
My heart stopped.
He was tiny for eight years old, with a mop of unruly black hair and eyes that seemed too large for his thin face. His clothes—jeans and a faded superhero t-shirt—hung loosely on his frame. A jagged scar ran from his temple to his cheekbone, a permanent reminder of the life he was leaving behind.
“Daniel and Hannah,” Ms. Rivera said, her voice warm but measured, “I’d like you to meet Lucas.”
Hannah’s hand trembled in mine. We’d seen his photo, of course. We’d read his file, heart-wrenching in its clinical descriptions of abuse and neglect. But nothing had prepared me for seeing him in person, for the tidal wave of emotion that crashed over me.
I knelt down slowly, getting to his eye level. “Hi, Lucas. I’m Daniel.”
His dark eyes studied me warily. He didn’t speak. According to his file, he rarely did. Selective mutism, the psychologist had noted. A response to trauma.
“We’re really happy to meet you,” Hannah said, joining me at his level.
Lucas’s gaze shifted to her, taking in her gentle smile, her soft blonde hair. His grip on Ms. Rivera’s hand loosened, just slightly.
“Lucas has been looking forward to meeting you both,” Ms. Rivera said, filling the silence. “Haven’t you, Lucas?”
He gave a nearly imperceptible nod.
“Would you like to sit down with us?” I asked him. “We could talk a little, get to know each other?”
Another slight nod. Progress.
We moved to a small play area in the corner of the room. Lucas sat stiffly on the edge of a chair, his eyes darting between us and the door, like he was calculating an escape route. Hannah pulled out a small backpack we’d brought.
“We weren’t sure what you like,” she said, “but we thought you might enjoy these.”
She pulled out a set of colored pencils and a sketchbook, a small LEGO set, and a worn copy of “Where the Wild Things Are.”
Lucas’s eyes widened at the book. His hand reached out tentatively, then pulled back.
“It’s okay,” I assured him. “These are for you.”
He reached out again, this time taking the book. His small fingers traced the cover with a reverence that made my chest ache.
“Do you like that story?” Hannah asked softly.
Lucas nodded, more emphatically this time. He opened the book, thumbing through the pages with careful movements.
“Would you like me to read it to you?” I offered.
He looked up at me, surprise flickering across his face. Then, to my astonishment, he stood up, crossed the short distance between us, and climbed into my lap, book in hand.
I caught Hannah’s eye over his head. Tears glistened in her gaze. Ms. Rivera, watching from a respectful distance, gave an encouraging nod.
“‘The night Max wore his wolf suit,’” I began, my voice thick with emotion, “‘and made mischief of one kind…’”
Lucas leaned back against my chest, his small body gradually relaxing as the familiar story unfolded. By the time Max was sailing home to find his supper still hot, Lucas’s breathing had deepened, his head heavy against my arm.
He had fallen asleep.
“He hasn’t done that with anyone else,” Ms. Rivera said quietly, approaching us. “Not once since he’s been in the system.”
Hannah wiped away a tear. “How long?”
“Almost two years,” Ms. Rivera replied. “Since his mother’s boyfriend…” She trailed off, glancing at the sleeping child.
We didn’t need her to finish. We knew from the file. Two years of foster homes, of being passed from family to family. Two years of silence and fear.
“When can we take him home?” I asked.
Ms. Rivera smiled, the first real smile I’d seen from her. “We still have to complete the transition period. Supervised visits, overnight stays. But if all goes well—and looking at this, I have high hopes—he could be with you permanently in about a month.”
A month. After four years of waiting, a month seemed like nothing.
Lucas stirred in my arms, his face momentarily tensing in sleep. I adjusted my hold, careful not to wake him. He settled again, his small hand clutching the fabric of my shirt.
In that moment, watching this broken, beautiful child trust me enough to find peace in my arms, I made a silent promise.
I will protect you. I will be the father you deserve. Nothing and no one will hurt you again.
It was a promise I intended to keep. No matter what.
The Transition
The first overnight visit was a disaster.
We’d prepared meticulously. The spare bedroom had been transformed into a space for an eight-year-old boy: walls painted a soft green, bed covered with a space-themed comforter, bookshelves filled with carefully selected stories. A small desk in the corner held art supplies. A nightlight glowed softly.
Lucas had seemed cautiously excited when he arrived that afternoon, carrying his small backpack of belongings. He’d explored the room with wide eyes, lingering over the books, testing the desk chair with a tentative spin.
Hannah had made his favorite dinner—chicken fingers and mashed potatoes, according to his file—and we’d eaten together at the kitchen table, Lucas picking carefully at his food while Hannah and I tried to maintain a conversation around his silence.
Everything changed at bedtime.
“Time to get ready for bed, Lucas,” Hannah said gently. “I’ve laid out your pajamas in the bathroom. Do you need help?”
He shook his head, heading to the bathroom with reluctant steps. We heard the water running, the sounds of him brushing his teeth. Normal, comforting sounds of a child’s bedtime routine.
But when Hannah went to tuck him in, Lucas was nowhere to be found.
Panic gripped me as we searched the small apartment. Had he run away? Was he hiding? Had all our preparation been for nothing?
I found him eventually, curled into a tight ball in the back of our bedroom closet, shaking uncontrollably, tears streaming down his face.
“Lucas,” I whispered, crouching down. “Lucas, it’s okay. You’re safe.”
His eyes, wild with fear, fixed on me. I reached out slowly, but he flinched away, a small whimper escaping him.
“I’m not going to hurt you,” I promised. “No one will hurt you here.”
He shook his head violently, pressing further into the corner.
Hannah appeared behind me. “What’s wrong? Is he okay?”
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “Lucas, can you tell us what scared you?”
Silence. Then, so quietly I almost missed it: “Dark.”
One word. The first he’d spoken to us. My heart soared even as it broke for him.
“The dark?” Hannah repeated gently. “Are you afraid of the dark, sweetheart?”
A small nod.
“But we left a nightlight,” I said, confused.
Lucas’s lip trembled. “Not enough.”
Hannah knelt beside me. “What would help, Lucas? Would you like more lights? Or would you like to leave the door open with the hall light on?”
He blinked, seemingly surprised at being given options.
“Door open,” he whispered. “And… and…” He hesitated, fear crossing his face again.
“It’s okay,” I encouraged. “You can tell us what you need.”
“Check… check for monsters?” The words were barely audible, choked with shame and fear.
I understood then. His monsters weren’t imaginary. They were memories. Real people who had hurt him, who had made the darkness a thing to fear.
“Of course we’ll check,” I said firmly. “Every night. No monsters allowed in this house. That’s our most important rule.”
The tension in his small body eased slightly. I held out my hand, not pushing, just offering.
“Ready to try again?”
After a long moment, Lucas uncurled from his protective ball and placed his hand in mine. It was clammy with fear sweat, but it was trust. A beginning.
We established a new bedtime routine that night. Hannah would help Lucas into his pajamas and brush his teeth. Then I would methodically check the closet, under the bed, behind the curtains, in every shadowy corner. All clear. No monsters. Door left open, hall light on.
Only then would Lucas climb into bed, still tense but no longer terrified.
“Sleep well, buddy,” I said, pulling the covers up to his chin. “We’ll be right down the hall if you need us.”
He nodded, eyes already growing heavy.
“Is there anything else you need before you go to sleep?” Hannah asked, smoothing his hair back from his forehead.
Lucas hesitated, then spoke again, his third sentence to us. “Story?”
My heart melted. “Of course.”
I grabbed “Where the Wild Things Are” from his bookshelf, settling into the chair beside his bed. As I read, Lucas’s eyes drifted closed, his breathing deepening.
When I was certain he was asleep, I carefully set the book aside and stood to leave. A small hand shot out from under the covers, grabbing my wrist with surprising strength.
“Stay,” Lucas mumbled, not opening his eyes. “Please.”
I looked at Hannah, who nodded with tears in her eyes.
“I’ll stay,” I promised, sitting back down. “I’ll be right here all night.”
And I was. I spent that first night in an uncomfortable chair beside his bed, watching over him as he slept. Every time he stirred with a nightmare, I was there to reassure him. Every time he woke, confused and afraid, I was there to remind him where he was, that he was safe.
By morning, my back was screaming in protest and my eyes felt like sandpaper. But when Lucas woke, blinking up at me with recognition and the faintest hint of a smile, I knew I’d made the right choice.
The transition period wasn’t easy. There were setbacks—tantrums born of fear, nightmares that seemed to shake the walls, days of complete silence. But there were victories too. The first time Lucas reached for Hannah’s hand in the grocery store. The day he showed us a drawing he’d made of the three of us, stick figures with huge smiles. The morning I found him already dressed and waiting, backpack on, anxious to return to our apartment after a weekend visit.
After four weeks, Ms. Rivera called with the news we’d been hoping for.
“Lucas has adjusted remarkably well,” she said. “Better than anyone expected. I think it’s time to make this permanent.”
Hannah wept openly when we told Lucas he was coming home—really home—to stay. He stood very still for a long moment, his expression unreadable. Then, to our surprise, he threw his arms around Hannah’s waist, burying his face against her.
“Thank you,” he whispered, his voice muffled by her sweater.
Hannah knelt, wrapping him in a proper hug. “No, Lucas. Thank you for being our son.”
Over his shoulder, her eyes met mine, shining with joy and determination. We’d done it. We’d found our child, and he’d found his family. Now we just had to make it official.
The adoption proceedings were scheduled for the following month. In the meantime, Lucas moved in permanently, his few belongings finding their places among ours. We established routines, set gentle boundaries, learned each other’s habits and quirks.
Slowly, Lucas began to talk more. Never much at once, and rarely to strangers, but at home, with us, words began to flow. His voice was soft and slightly raspy from disuse, but to us, it was the most beautiful sound in the world.
“Why did you pick me?” he asked one night as I tucked him in.
The question caught me off guard. “What do you mean?”
He fidgeted with the edge of his blanket. “There are lots of kids. Better kids. Not broken.”
My heart constricted painfully. “Lucas, look at me.” I waited until his dark eyes met mine. “You are not broken. You’re hurt, and that’s different. Hurts can heal.”
“But why me?” he persisted.
I considered my answer carefully. “When we saw your picture, something just… clicked. Hannah said it felt like finding a missing piece of our family. And when we met you—when you fell asleep in my arms during that story—I knew you were my son. I knew it here.” I placed a hand over my heart.
Lucas absorbed this, his expression serious. “What if… what if I do something bad? Will you send me back?”
“Never,” I said firmly. “Families don’t give up on each other. No matter what.”
He nodded, seemingly satisfied, and settled back against his pillows. “Night, Dad.”
It was the first time he’d called me that. Dad. Such a small word to carry so much meaning.
“Goodnight, son,” I replied, my voice thick with emotion.
As I closed his door—leaving it cracked open, hall light on—I couldn’t imagine anything that could shake the foundation of what we were building. We had fought so hard to find each other. We had overcome so much already.
Nothing could tear us apart now.
I was wrong.
The Storm
The storm began innocuously enough.
We were having breakfast on a Saturday morning, three weeks before the adoption would be finalized. Lucas was telling us about a science project his class was working on, more animated than we’d ever seen him.
“And then the volcano explodes!” he said, gesturing with his fork. “But not for real. Just baking soda and vinegar that looks like lava.”
Hannah laughed, reaching out to ruffle his hair. “That sounds mesn—” She stopped abruptly, her face draining of color.
“Hannah?” I set down my coffee. “What’s wrong?”
She pressed a hand to her stomach, wincing. “Just a cramp. I’m fine.”
But she wasn’t fine. The cramps intensified throughout the day, and by evening, she was doubled over in pain. When I saw blood staining her pajama pants, I called 911.
The next twenty-four hours were a blur. The ambulance ride. The emergency room. The doctors’ grave faces as they used words like “ectopic pregnancy” and “internal bleeding” and “emergency surgery.”
I hadn’t even known Hannah was pregnant. Neither had she.
Lucas stayed with our neighbors, a kind elderly couple who had adopted grandchildren of their own and understood the situation better than most. When I finally came home, exhausted and shell-shocked, he was waiting, his small face tight with worry.
“Is Hannah okay?” he asked as soon as I walked through the door.
I knelt down, taking his hands in mine. “She’s going to be okay,” I assured him. “But she’s very sick right now. She has to stay in the hospital for a little while.”
“Because of the baby?” he asked.
I blinked in surprise. “How did you know about that?”
Lucas looked down. “I heard the doctors talking to you. Before Mrs. Chen took me to her apartment.”
Of course he had. Lucas missed nothing, especially when it came to potential threats to his security.
“Yes,” I admitted. “Hannah was pregnant, but the baby was growing in the wrong place. It made her very sick, and the doctors had to do surgery to fix it.”
“Is the baby okay?”
I swallowed hard. “No, buddy. The baby didn’t make it.”
Lucas’s face crumpled. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault,” I said quickly, pulling him into a hug. “None of this is your fault.”
But as I held him, I couldn’t help wondering if he was thinking the same thing I was: How would this affect our family? How would it affect his adoption?
Hannah came home a week later, pale and fragile in a way I’d never seen her. The doctors had managed to save her life, but the surgery had been extensive. She would never be able to have biological children.
For a woman who had spent years trying to conceive before we turned to adoption, this was devastating news.
Lucas was anxious to help her, bringing her water, adjusting her pillows, offering to read to her the way I had read to him. Hannah accepted his attentions with a weak smile, but I noticed she rarely met his eyes.
“She hates me,” Lucas whispered one night as I tucked him in.
“No,” I said firmly. “Hannah loves you very much. She’s just sad right now.”
“Because she lost the baby?”
“Yes. And because the doctors told her she can’t have any more babies. It’s a lot for her to process.”
Lucas was quiet for a moment, thinking. “But she still has me, right?”
The uncertainty in his voice broke my heart. “Of course she does. We both do.”
He nodded, but didn’t seem convinced. I kissed his forehead and left his door ajar, the hall light casting a reassuring glow into his room.
In our bedroom, Hannah was already in bed, staring at the ceiling.
“How is he?” she asked as I slid in beside her.
“Worried about you,” I replied honestly. “He thinks you hate him.”
Hannah turned to look at me, alarm crossing her face. “I don’t hate him! How could he think that?”
“You’ve been… distant,” I said carefully. “He notices everything, Hannah. He’s sensitive to rejection.”
She sighed, rolling onto her back again. “I’m trying, Daniel. I really am. I just… I can’t believe this happened now. Right before the adoption. It feels like the universe is playing some cruel joke.”
I took her hand, threading our fingers together. “It’s awful timing. But it doesn’t change anything about Lucas. About us becoming his parents.”
Hannah was quiet for so long I thought she might have fallen asleep. Then, in a voice barely above a whisper: “Doesn’t it, though?”
My blood ran cold. “What do you mean?”
“I mean…” She took a shaky breath. “What if this is a sign? What if we’re not meant to be parents after all?”
I sat up, staring down at her in disbelief. “Hannah, you can’t be serious. Lucas has been living with us for months. He’s our son in every way that matters. The adoption is just making it official.”
“I know, I know,” she said quickly. “I’m just… processing. Ignore me. It’s the pain medication talking.”
But it wasn’t just the medication. Over the next few days, Hannah grew increasingly withdrawn. She barely spoke to Lucas, responding to his attempts at conversation with one-word answers. She stopped joining us for meals, claiming she wasn’t hungry or that she needed to rest.
Lucas noticed. Of course he did.
“Did I do something wrong?” he asked one evening as we ate dinner without Hannah again.
“No, buddy,” I assured him. “Hannah’s still recovering. It has nothing to do with you.”
But even I wasn’t convinced anymore. Something had changed in Hannah, something fundamental. The warmth and love she had shown Lucas had been replaced by a cold distance that seemed to grow by the day.
The breaking point came two weeks before the adoption hearing.
I came home from grocery shopping to find Hannah and Lucas in the living room, an atmosphere of tension so thick it was almost visible. Lucas was huddled on the couch, knees drawn up to his chest, eyes wide with fear. Hannah stood by the window, arms crossed tightly over her chest.
“What’s going on?” I asked, setting down the grocery bags.
“Tell him,” Hannah said to Lucas, her voice tight.
Lucas shrank further into the couch. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.
“Sorry for what?” I moved to sit beside him, instinctively positioning myself between him and Hannah.
“I found him in our bedroom,” Hannah said before Lucas could answer. “Going through my jewelry box.”
I frowned. “Lucas, you know you’re not supposed to go in our room without permission.”
“I was looking for a picture,” he said, his voice small. “The one of the three of us at the park. I wanted to put it in my science project.”
“The picture is in the living room,” Hannah countered. “On the mantel. You had no reason to be in our bedroom.”
Lucas’s lip trembled. “I thought… I thought there was a different one. In your jewelry box. I saw you looking at it once.”
Hannah’s expression hardened. “And you just happened to knock over my grandmother’s earrings in the process? They’re broken, Daniel. Irreparable.”
I looked between them, trying to understand what had happened. “It was an accident, Hannah. Lucas wouldn’t deliberately break something of yours.”
“Wouldn’t he?” Her voice was cold, unfamiliar. “You don’t know what he’s capable of. None of us do. He comes from a troubled background—”
“Hannah!” I cut her off sharply. “That’s enough.”
Lucas was trembling now, tears streaming down his face. I put an arm around him, drawing him against my side.
“It’s okay, buddy,” I murmured. “Accidents happen. We’ll figure this out.”
Hannah made a sound of disgust. “Of course you’re taking his side. You always do.”
“I’m not taking sides,” I said evenly, though my heart was pounding with anger and disbelief. “I’m trying to be fair.”
“Fair?” She laughed, a harsh sound that made Lucas flinch. “What’s fair about this situation, Daniel? We waited years for a baby of our own, and now I find out I’ll never have one. Never. And instead I’m stuck with—” She stopped abruptly, her hand flying to her mouth.
But it was too late. The words hung in the air, unfinished but unmistakable.
Stuck with him. Stuck with Lucas.
Lucas pulled away from me, scrambling off the couch. Before either of us could react, he had bolted from the room. I heard his bedroom door slam, followed by the distinct click of the lock.
“Lucas!” I called, starting after him.
“Let him go,” Hannah said, her voice suddenly weary. “We need to talk.”
I turned back to her, fury coursing through me. “Talk about what? About how you just devastated an eight-year-old who’s already experienced more rejection than most people face in a lifetime?”
“I didn’t mean it like that,” she protested weakly.
“How did you mean it, then?” I demanded. “Because from where I’m standing, it sounded like you resent him for not being our biological child.”
Hannah sank into a chair, her face in her hands. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me, Daniel. I look at him, and all I can see is what I’ve lost. What I’ll never have.”
“Hannah, he is what we have. He’s our son.”
She looked up at me, her eyes red-rimmed but dry. “No. He’s not. Not yet. And maybe… maybe he shouldn’t be.”
The words hit me like a physical blow. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying I don’t think I can do this anymore.” Her voice was hollow, resigned. “I thought I could. I really did. But losing the baby, finding out I can never… it changed something in me. I can’t explain it. I just know that when I look at Lucas now, I don’t feel what I should feel.”
“So you want to, what? Send him back? Like he’s a defective product?” The anger in my voice was barely contained. “Do you have any idea what that would do to him?”
“Of course I do!” she snapped. “Why do you think this is tearing me apart? I know it’s not fair to him. I know he deserves better. But I can’t fake it, Daniel. I can’t pretend to love him when I’m drowning in grief for the child I’ll never have.”
I stared at her, this woman I had loved for over a decade, this woman I thought I knew better than anyone. In that moment, she was a stranger to me.
“The adoption hearing is in two weeks,” I said finally. “We’re both required to be there.”
Hannah met my gaze evenly. “I won’t lie under oath, Daniel. If the judge asks me if I want to adopt Lucas, I’ll have to tell the truth.”
“And what is the truth?” I asked, though I already knew the answer.
“The truth is that I can’t be his mother.” A single tear slid down her cheek. “Not now. Maybe not ever.”
I nodded slowly, a cold resolve settling over me. “Then I’ll go alone.”
Her head snapped up. “What?”
“I’ll adopt him as a single parent. If you won’t be his mother, fine. But I’m not abandoning him. I promised him a home, Hannah. A family. I won’t break that promise.”
“You’d choose him over me?” Her voice was barely a whisper.
“I’m not choosing anyone,” I said tiredly. “You’re the one who’s walking away. From him. From us. From the family we were building together.”
Hannah was silent for a long moment. Then she stood, wiping her eyes. “I’ll stay with my sister until… until we figure things out.”
“Fine.” I turned toward Lucas’s room, my priority clear. “But before you go, you need to talk to him. You need to explain that this isn’t his fault. That he didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I can’t face him right now,” she said, already heading for our bedroom. “I’ll call him tomorrow, when we’ve both calmed down.”
“Hannah—”
“Please, Daniel. I just… I can’t.”
I watched her walk away, feeling as though something essential had broken between us, something that might never be repaired.
When I heard the bedroom door close, I turned my attention to Lucas. Gently, I knocked on his door.
“Lucas? Buddy? It’s me. Can you let me in?”
Silence.
“I know you’re upset. I am too. But we need to talk about what happened.”
More silence, then a small voice: “Is she gone?”
“She’s in our bedroom, packing some things. She’s going to stay with her sister for a while.”
The lock clicked, and the door opened a crack. Lucas’s tear-stained face appeared. “Because of me?”
I knelt down to his level. “No. Because of her. She’s going through something difficult right now, something that has nothing to do with you.”
“She doesn’t want me anymore,” he said flatly. It wasn’t a question.
“Lucas—”
“I heard her. She said she can’t be my mom.” His voice was steady, but fresh tears welled in his eyes. “Just like my real mom couldn’t.”
I pushed the door open wider and gathered him into my arms. He was stiff at first, resistant, but then he melted against me, his small body wracked with silent sobs.
“Listen to me,” I said fiercely. “I want you. I will always want you. You are my son, and nothing will ever change that. Not Hannah leaving, not anything. Do you understand?”
He nodded against my shoulder, his tears soaking through my shirt.
“The adoption hearing is in two weeks,” I continued. “And I will be there. I will make you officially, legally my son. I promise.”
Lucas pulled back to look at me, his eyes red but determined. “Just you? Not Hannah?”
“Just me,” I confirmed. “If that’s okay with you?”
He considered this for a moment, then nodded. “Yeah. That’s okay.”
I managed a smile, though my heart was breaking for all that had been lost that day. “Good. Now, how about we order pizza for dinner? I think we both deserve a treat tonight.”
While Lucas washed his face and picked out a movie to watch with our pizza, I heard the front door open and close. Hannah left without saying goodbye to either of us.
That night, after Lucas had finally fallen asleep—in my bed, unable to face his room alone—I sat in the dark living room, turning my wedding ring around and around on my finger.
In the space of a week, my entire life had imploded. My wife was gone. My marriage was, if not over, at least seriously damaged. The adoption we had fought for was now in jeopardy.
But amidst all the loss and uncertainty, one thing remained clear: Lucas needed me. And I needed him. Together, we would find a way through this storm.
I just had to make sure nothing stood in the way of making him my son.
The Choice
The law offices of Patterson & Wilson were housed in a sleek downtown building with expansive views of the city skyline. I sat across from Meredith Wilson, a family law attorney specializing in adoption, watching as she reviewed our case file.
“So let me understand the situation,” she said, setting down the folder. “You and your wife were in the final stages of adopting Lucas together. But now, due to… personal circumstances, your wife is no longer interested in proceeding with the adoption. And you want to continue as a single parent?”
“Yes,” I confirmed. “Is that possible?”
Meredith leaned back in her chair, considering. “It’s complicated, but not impossible. The main issue is that your home study, background checks, and all preliminary approvals were based on an assessment of you and your wife as a couple. The agency will need to reassess you as a single parent.”
My heart sank. “How long would that take?”
“Normally? Months. But given that Lucas is already placed with you and the adoption is so close to finalization, we might be able to expedite the process.” She tapped her pen against the desk. “Have you spoken to Ms. Rivera at the agency?”
“Not yet. I wanted to understand the legal implications first.”
“Smart move,” she nodded. “There’s another complication we need to address. Your wife.”
“What about her?”
“If she actively opposes the adoption, it could create significant hurdles. Has she indicated that she would do so?”
I thought back to our last conversation, to Hannah’s hollow voice saying she couldn’t lie under oath. “She said she couldn’t be his mother. But she hasn’t explicitly said she would try to stop me from adopting him.”
“We should clarify her position,” Meredith advised. “Ideally, we’d get her to sign a statement releasing her interest in the adoption and supporting your petition as a single parent. That would smooth the process considerably.”
I nodded, though the thought of asking Hannah for anything right now made my stomach churn. We hadn’t spoken since she left two days ago.
“What’s the worst-case scenario?” I asked. “If Hannah won’t cooperate, if the agency requires a full reassessment…”
Meredith’s expression softened. “The worst case is that Lucas could be removed from your home while the reassessment takes place. But,” she added quickly, seeing my alarm, “that’s unlikely given the circumstances. The court generally prioritizes stability for the child whenever possible.”
“He’s been through so much already,” I said quietly. “The thought of him being taken away, of breaking my promise to him…”
“I understand,” Meredith assured me. “And I’ll do everything in my power to prevent that. But you need to be prepared for all possibilities.”
I left her office with a list of action items: contact Ms. Rivera, secure a statement from Hannah, gather character references, update our—my—financial information. The path forward was clear, if challenging.
What wasn’t clear was how to approach Hannah. She had been staying with her sister, not responding to my texts or calls. According to her sister, she was “taking some time to think.”
In the meantime, Lucas and I established a new normal. I arranged to work from home three days a week, adjusting my schedule around school drop-offs and pickups. We cooked dinner together, played board games, maintained the bedtime routine that made him feel secure. I checked for monsters every night, left the hall light on, stayed until he fell asleep.
If he noticed the strain around my eyes, the way I sometimes stared into space, lost in worry about our uncertain future, he didn’t mention it. But he stayed close, as if afraid I might disappear if he let me out of his sight for too long.
Ms. Rivera came for a home visit a week after Hannah left. I had explained the situation to her over the phone, but seeing the empty spaces where Hannah’s things had been made it real in a way words couldn’t convey.
“This is a significant change, Daniel,” she said as we sat at the kitchen table, Lucas in his room working on homework. “The committee will need to reconsider your application.”
“I understand,” I said. “But Lucas is thriving here. Surely uprooting him now would do more harm than good?”
She sighed, her expression sympathetic but professional. “I agree. And I’ll advocate for continuity of placement. But I need to be honest with you—single parent adoptions face more scrutiny, especially for older children with trauma backgrounds.”
“Because people think a child needs both a mother and a father?” I couldn’t keep the bitterness from my voice.
“Partly that,” she admitted. “But also because of practical concerns. How will you handle childcare if you’re sick? Who will be Lucas’s emergency contact at school? What support systems do you have in place?”
Valid questions, all of them. Questions I had been grappling with myself.
“I have answers,” I said firmly. “My parents live an hour away and are willing to help whenever needed. I’ve arranged flexible work hours with my company. I have friends in the building who can be emergency contacts. Lucas is in therapy, and I’ve started seeing someone myself to ensure I’m equipped to support him.”
Ms. Rivera made notes as I spoke, nodding occasionally. “These are all positive steps. The committee will want to see this level of planning and commitment. But there’s still the matter of your wife’s position.”
“I’m working on that,” I said, though in truth, I had no idea how to approach Hannah. “Our lawyer is drafting a statement for her to sign.”
“The sooner the better,” Ms. Rivera advised. “The hearing is scheduled for next Friday. Without her cooperation, we may need to request a postponement.”
A postponement. More uncertainty. More waiting for Lucas, who had already waited too long for permanence.
“I’ll handle it,” I promised.
After Ms. Rivera left, I found Lucas sitting on his bed, pretending to read. The book was upside down.
“Were you listening?” I asked gently, sitting beside him.
He nodded, not meeting my eyes. “Is she going to take me away?”
“No,” I said firmly. “No one is taking you away from me. Ms. Rivera is on our side. She’s just doing her job, making sure I can take care of you properly.”
“Can you?” His voice was small, uncertain.
“Absolutely,” I assured him. “It might be a bit different without Hannah, but we’ll figure it out together. That’s what families do.”
Lucas finally looked up at me, his dark eyes serious. “Are you and Hannah getting divorced?”
The question caught me off guard. Hannah and I hadn’t discussed our marriage—we’d barely spoken at all since she left. In the chaos of ensuring Lucas’s placement wasn’t disrupted, I hadn’t allowed myself to think about what her departure meant for us long-term.
“I don’t know, buddy,” I answered honestly. “Right now, we’re taking some time apart while Hannah figures some things out.”
“Because of me,” he said, that same flat certainty in his voice.
“No,” I said firmly. “Because of Hannah’s own struggles. Remember what we talked about? About how her not being able to have babies made her very sad?”
He nodded slowly.
“Well, sometimes when adults are very sad, they need space to figure out their feelings. That’s what Hannah is doing right now.”
Lucas considered this, then asked the question I’d been dreading: “Is she coming back?”
I hesitated, unwilling to make a promise I couldn’t keep. “I don’t know. But what I do know is that no matter what happens with Hannah, you and I are a team. Nothing will change that.”
He leaned against me, some of the tension leaving his small body. “Okay.”
That night, after Lucas was asleep, I finally gathered the courage to call Hannah. To my surprise, she answered on the second ring.
“Daniel.” Her voice was guarded, exhausted.
“Hi,” I said, suddenly unsure where to begin. “How are you?”
A hollow laugh. “How do you think? I’ve left my husband and the child I was supposed to adopt. I’m not exactly winning at life right now.”
“Hannah—”
“Sorry,” she cut me off. “That wasn’t fair. I’m… managing. How’s Lucas?”
The question gave me hope. If she cared enough to ask, perhaps there was still a path forward. “He misses you. He’s confused about what’s happening, but he’s resilient.”
A long silence followed. Then: “I miss him too. That’s what makes this so hard. I do care about him, Daniel. I just… can’t be what he needs right now.”
“I understand,” I said, though part of me didn’t—couldn’t—understand how she could walk away from Lucas after everything we’d been through together. “But we need to talk about the adoption. It’s scheduled for next Friday.”
Another silence. “I know.”
“The lawyer says it would help if you signed a statement supporting my petition to adopt Lucas as a single parent. It would make the transition smoother, prevent him from potentially being removed while they reassess me.”
“Removed?” Alarm colored her voice. “They would take him away from you?”
“It’s a possibility if things get complicated,” I admitted. “That’s why your cooperation would mean so much.”
Hannah sighed deeply. “I never wanted to hurt him, Daniel. You have to believe that.”
“I do.”
“Send me the statement. I’ll sign it.”
Relief flooded through me. “Thank you, Hannah. Really.”