Johnny,” says the teacher, “what’s the first thing your father does in the morning?”
“He takes a shit, sir,” says Johnny.
“Oh,” says the teacher, “and what does your father do for a living?”
“He’s a bricklayer,” says Johnny.
The teacher thinks, hmm, working class, what else can you expect?
“Bobby,” says the teacher, “what’s the first thing your father does in the morning?”
“He takes a shit, sir,” says Bobby.
“Hmm,” says the teacher, “and what does your father do for a living?”
“He’s a joiner,” says Johnny.
The teacher sees this as confirming his suspicions about the lack of linguistic skills among working class children.
“Freddy,” he says. “What does your father do for a living?”
“He’s a lawyer, sir” says Freddy.
“And what’s the first thing your father does in the morning?”
“He reads The Times, sir,” says Freddy.
“Interesting,” says the teacher, “and how much time does he spend reading the paper?”
“Not long,” says Freddy, “just until he’s finished taking a shit.”😂
The teacher stands in front of the class and decides to spark a conversation.
“Johnny,” she asks, “what’s the first thing your father does in the morning?”
Johnny confidently replies, “He takes a dump, miss.”
The teacher raises an eyebrow. “Oh… and what does your father do for a living?”
“He’s a bricklayer,” Johnny says.
The teacher nods, thinking, Well, not too surprising.
She turns to another student. “Bobby, what about your father? What’s the first thing he does in the morning?”
“He takes a dump too, miss,” Bobby answers.
Trying to hide her amusement, she follows up. “And what does your father do for work?”
“He’s a carpenter,” Bobby says.
The teacher sighs, assuming she’s identified a pattern.
Determined to shift the conversation, she calls on Freddy, the most well-dressed student in the room.
“Freddy, what does your father do for a living?”
“He’s a lawyer, miss,” Freddy replies proudly.
The teacher nods approvingly. “And what’s the first thing he does in the morning?”
Freddy shrugs. “He reads the newspaper, miss.”
The teacher smiles, finally hearing something different. “Ah, I see! And how long does he spend reading the paper?”
Freddy grins. “Just until he’s done taking a dump!”
Same punchline, fresh delivery! 😂